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How Anxiety Can Kill Your Passion for Sex

Anxiety and worry are natural, especially when preparing to have sex for the first time. But excessive anxiety can disrupt the warmth of you both in bed, can even turn off your sexual desire. How can?

The effects of excessive anxiety actually reduce sexual arousal
Sex should be a fun activity, strengthen inner bonds, and eliminate stress. But whether it's an ordinary feeling of anxiety or you have a psychological problem that is officially diagnosed like anxiety disorders, excessive anxiety will cool the heat of activity on the sheets.

"All kinds of anxiety can interfere with your sexual satisfaction," said Laurel Steinberg, PhD, a sex therapist and professor of psychology at Columbia University.

Here are various ways how excessive anxiety can affect your sex life:

1. Reducing libido
Excessive anxiety and unreasonable fear can make the body release stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol in large quantities. The combination of the two can make you feel more stressed, panicked, and anxious. Anxiety and excessive panic can also make you experience hyperventilation which can cause panic attacks in the middle of a sex session.

All these negative effects work together to block the work of happy mood hormones and libido to stimulate passion. If your body is unable to relax and enjoy sex stimulation properly, then this can make it difficult for you to reach orgasm and feel sexual gratification.

2. Decrease self-confidence
In the end, the negative effects of excessive anxiety will reduce self-confidence. You will even increasingly think of all the physical deficiencies that (maybe) you have.

Especially in women, they will pay more attention to every detail body shape they have. Take for example, maybe you become more concerned about the shape of the breast, how the body smells at the time, and so forth.

Having a negative body image, even if only imagined, can inhibit sexual satisfaction during intercourse. As a result, sex only goes like a daily rush without being bathed in satisfaction.

3. Damaging the intimacy of you and your partner
Let alone to be emotionally close, anxiety and excessive fear will make you not want to be intimate with your partner physically. Especially if your anxiety disorder is rooted in the trauma of physical or sexual violence in the past.

As a result, the body will not respond to all the stimuli provided so that no arousal arises. In fact, this also has an impact on refusing to do foreplay or warming up so that it actually creates a tense atmosphere in the relationship.

4. Close openness to what is desired
Being honest with a partner can make your sexual relationship run smoothly. This also makes you both understand each other's will in intercourse. But on the contrary, you are overwhelmed with anxiety will make it seem as if you are in danger so that it becomes more closed to your partner.

This condition is influenced by the hormone adrenaline that flows in the body when anxious. As a result, it will be difficult for you to share your desired sexual fantasies so that you become deprived of sexual desire.

5. Become difficult to orgasm
Women's sexual response that is strongly influenced by anxiety levels is difficulty reaching orgasm. Because symptoms of anxiety such as muscle tension and shortness of breath can prolong your time to reach orgasm.

Excessive anxiety can also inhibit the effects of lubrication on the sex organs and make the body become tense, even triggering vaginismus. Vaginismus is a sexual dysfunction that makes the pelvic floor muscles and vagina become tense and contraction making it difficult for the penetration process. As a result, sex will only leave pain and trauma in women.

How to deal with anxiety before having sex
Most anxiety can actually be overcome easily. However, the first thing you must do is recognize what causes and the extent to which these emotions can affect your and your partner's sexual life.

After that, try to wake up your mood to stay happy and energetic, for example by taking a walk to the park, dancing, or exercising. A study reported on the Cosmopolitan website shows that exercise can alleviate the side effects of antidepressants in women, and even potentially restore sexual desire.

If your anxiety is triggered by symptoms of anxiety disorders, it is better to consult a doctor or psychologist to undergo appropriate treatment, for example with CBT psychotherapy, medical drugs, or a combination of both.

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